Suicide is the last resort for someone who in unbearable pain. Sometimes this pain is caused by depression or other mental illness, sometimes it is fueled by substance or alcohol abuse. Many people think about suicide at least once in their life because they do not see any other options to continue living. While there are not a lot of suicide support groups around, there are therapists that specialize in suicidality and can help you discover the underlying issues and work towards building a life worth living. If you are having thoughts of suicide, please call 911 call or text the National Suicide Hotline at 988 to be connected with a crisis worker. You are worth it.
Suicide is an extremely isolating event that can cause the individual to feel even more alone and hopeless after an attempt. A person who has attempted and survived suicide often has multilayered and complex feelings so it is important to find someone to open up to and talk about your feelings with. Being able to process your thoughts and emotions is integral in healing. If you are a family member or friend of someone who has attempted suicide it is also important to have someone to talk too. There are support groups available and sometimes therapy is good to help process the complex feelings occurring.
There is a lot of stigma around suicide and many individuals in society don’t know what to say or do so they say nothing and do nothing. In my opinion, talking about suicide is the best way to confront it because people experience suicidal thoughts are often hushed or shamed and then they don’t get the help they need. It can also help friends of family of people who have experienced a suicide to talk openly and freely because traumatic loss is incredibly difficult to deal with, especially when you are isolated. While suicide can be a scary and difficult subject to talk about and some people are not able to have that kind of talk, but that doesn’t mean you can have a positive impact on surivors. Options that don’t include talking about death include: offering something tangible, such as preparing a meal, sending a gift-card for takeout, babysitting, dog or cat sitting, offering financial support (medical bills add up), offering to drive the person to/from appointments, offering to clean their house or help with yard care, or offering a vacation spot so the person/family can get away. Get creative, just showing the person or people imapacted you care can help decrease the feelings of isolation dramatically. Isolation is a leading cause in depression but that is a post for another day.
Remember for both the person who attempted suicide and the family or loved ones who were impacted by this attempt is ok to not be ok. Healing is non-linear and can be a life-long process. Suicide in any form can cause complicated grief and complicated grief can lead to complicated healing, but that doesn’t mean that healing can’t occur. It is sometimes slower than other types of grief and requires more compassion and empathy from everyone involved. Happy Suicide Prevention and Awareness Month sounds terrible, so instead take care of each other and yourselves, ask for help when you need it, and spread love and light.
For Resources Please click on the links below:
National Alliance of Mental Illness (NAMI)
Survivors of Suicide
American Foundation for Suicide Prevention
afsp.org/find-support/ive-lost-someone
American Association of Suicidology
www.suicidology.org this is a link to a really well written handbook for families: https://suicidology.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/07/SOS_handbook.pdf